A heart?

Just got back from a night out with my family and I thought I would share something that happened to me.

Its not something that other people saw or even really did. It happened on the inside, I realized something, it hit me, and I am thankful.

I was saying goodbye to my family and there was the hustle and bustle of all these people around us at the theater. My brother in law was trying to get my cousin on a racing arcade game, my sisters were tending to my little run around niece. The lights of mini arcade around, and people laugh and talking, just young people and families like us.

Then I noticed something, out of the corner of my eye, a girl puts her arms around a boy and bumps up to him, just a display of affection. But as I came next to my family, I noticed the girl and boy were young, maybe just starting high school. The girl was all over him and thoughts came. Not of contempt, or displeasure because they are way to young for that, but what I felt was pity.

Why pity? I looked at that boy maybe, 15 or 14 and I saw myself. I looked at the girl and I saw those girls I  tried so hard to care for but in the end I couldn't muster real love that was void of self. I  looked at this young, obviously premature relationship, and saw my mistakes.

But now seeing this young girl, she was excited. To have a boy to hold her was probably something she longed for. She must soak in the affection words he tells her. She dressed to impress the boy, showing off a little, just a tease to make sure his attention was on her. This girl will end up hurt like the many others before if something doesn't happen.

I turned my gaze away after the glance, burdened with frustration at my past, at society, at sin.

I walked out to my car across the wet parking lot, a little cold. A car waves me to go across ahead of them. I get to my door, open it and sit.

"Calm down" I tell myself. "What am I feeling" as I sense this strange unfamiliar feeling.

Why don't I despise that boy for using that girl. Why don't I look down on her for dressing so immodestly.

I search myself, and I don't see the contempt and condemnation.

 I feel for that girl, I feel sorry for her, I pity her, I love her and want a better life for this young soul.

This burden is not mine, this pity is foreign to me, do I really care? I can't remember caring before...

"Could it be possible that I finally have a heart?" I thought to myself.

It hit me, and I started to cry. I recognized that this is how the God of Heaven and Earth has felt about this girl, and frankly each girl that is out there. He longs to intervene and explain the better way.

I am proof of that. I was once that boy with a girl on his arm. And I can't change the past, but I can change the future thanks to God rescuing me.

God saved me, He can save them, He can save you.

Love is doing His job.

"And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him." (I John 4:16)

Pray right now for this young couple. For the girls whose hearts are broken, and for the boys who regret the pain they cause.

God will save the world.

Mind reading

I am a mind-reader. 

I can look at you and tell you exactly what thoughts you are thinking. Problem is... I am most likely wrong.

But I make my assessment of the knowledge I have, what I sense you have been saying in your body language. I remember past conversations and constantly mull them over to see what motivated you to say those things. I try so hard to find out whats really going on in the persons head I am speaking to.

Why? 

I think I am afraid of failure, or losing some sort of competition that engages in each interaction I have. I collect data in as many ways as I can in the hopes that I will always know more about the person I am speaking to then they do about me.

I want the advantage, so I plague myself by not just jumping to conclusions but practically fighting my way to them through a forest of conflicting data points.

Reality is that I don't understand. Things aren't one or the other, they can be both. People can hate what I am doing and still love me or vice versa. I put everything into box and label it and then when I actually talk to a person and my label is wrong I am shocked and afraid because I lost my advantage.

This is most likely a little confusing to most people, and is simply something I have had problems understanding myself.

But is their a solution? Is it wrong to assume things? When do you have enough evidence to make a sound judgment?

We have all these things to think about. 

What I am working on now is, just ignoring my assumptions, and just communicating.

Turns out, people aren't as bad or threatening as I almost want them to be. I am wrong often, to my humiliation, but to my relief.

But you know, I have a FACT that solves all of these problems.

God is interested in my relationships, in my life. He takes my interests and binds them to His own. So where I assume and imagine, He sees clearly and discerns. He guides me when I look to Him. In the night He is a pillar of fire where I would normally be blind.

I have many benefits, many good things. Let me ponder and analyze those things instead. 

That is a key to right thinking, and a solution to overthinking. 

We think constantly for a reason, we shouldn't try to drown it out or escape from our own minds, but direct them to different thoughts. It is not impossible to think about positives and be honest with yourself. 

Its a battle each moment and we lose seems almost endlessly, but as long as we are still thinking, as long as our mind still processes, the war is not over.

I wanted to fail?

 For those of you who don't know, I do ministry. I go out and talk to people and distribute literature. My least favorite part of it has been the fact that In my particular case it is mixed with a scholarship program thus making money involved. Its hard to ask for donations. But there is a reason for it and I wont get into that right now.

I wanted to share a difficult but revolutionary experience that happened to me recently:

The morning of this day was normal, getting up, trying to have devotions but fighting against my desire to sleep. Ate breakfast, tried to have devotions again. Struggled through prayer and read a little bit and felt a little more confident than usual that I was ready to go canvassing.

We had a bit of drive to territory and I decided to listen to a sermon. I like to listen to sermon because it gives me something fresh to share in conversation.

As we got close to the area we were going to canvass I started getting anxious, which was usual. We prayed and had our time exchanging prayer requests. Then drop off started.

I was thinking in my head:

"please drop me off last, or at least later, so I can prepare longer..."
"Maybe there isn't enough big businesses, so I will get something less stressful."
"Im not a high seller, they wont put me in the busy places."

Then I heard something that really surprised me, I was out next with two others, and I was supposed to do the store parking lot, indefinitely...

I was crushed.

I can't do it, was my first thought. Why would you put me there. I am not fast enough, or good enough. Its uncomfortable for me and it wont work.

So I got out, hazed through prayer and meandered into the parking lot...

I say a guy, and walked towards him, then he turned away from me and started putting something on his truck. I got scared, and didn't want to bother him and walked past thinking I will just catch him when he finishes.

I walked right past him, then past another person in there car, and another person... and another...

"This is not where I should be" I thought.

"I can't even talk to these people."

And down, down, down went my thoughts. I couldn't possibly do ministry here, people don't want to be bother by me.

Maybe I can pray about it.

"Lord?" I muttered.

Empty. My words were empty.

I didn't want to pray... This is just not where I should be.

I didn't want to do this parking lot. I didn't want to reach these people. This wasn't worth the effort to me it seemed.

"Why am I here. I cant do this simple thing as talking to people. I profess godliness but am unwilling to get out and face rejection. What kind of Christian am I?"

I decided to sit down under a tree, it was hot outside, sun shining all over. On the side of the parking lot I sat. After a while of thinking and pressing my soul for what was happening, I decided to go inside the building.

Walked over, passed more people, felt more terrible for passing them. Got inside, people passed me, I acted like I was normal, but my heart burned, I was so ashamed.

Went outside, and decided I was wasting time. At least my leader can put me in a easier place and I can do something. So I texted my leader and asked to be moved.

I waited... no response.

Went back to my tree and sat down...

"I fancy myself a missionary but I can't do this thing for others. Do I really love the Lord, do I love these people. why do I let them all go, I know I have what they need..."

"I am a hireling. What purpose do I even have in life if I can't face discomfort for Christ's sake."

I felt like Elijah, under the tree. And I did what Elijah did, I gave up.

I was useless, I had failed, what am I since I can't do this small thing.

My mind was rampant, I was spiraling into depression and I couldn't see any reason to move. My purpose in life was sharing this news and I couldn't seem to do it.

"God!? What do I do?"

My head physically began to ache, the pain was if I was going to die. I had lost life it seemed. Tears came, I was finished, as low as I could imagine myself.

Then, amazingly, amidst my flurried thoughts and despair came light in my darkness.

A quote, as if God was saying it to me:

"Often your mind may be clouded because of pain. Then do not try to think. You know that Jesus loves you. He understands your weakness. You may do His will by simply resting in His arms." MH 251.5

So I chose to stop. And imagined myself, not in a parking lot, sitting on a lamp post next to a tree, weeping in despair, but simply in the caring gentle arms of one who Loves me.

Immediately, nothing seemed to matter. my failures, my sorrow, my tears, these people, my canvassing directs, my books, my life.

I just rested, and as literal as the scripture says, peace that passed all understanding.

I simply existed in that moment.

My life was not over.

I will live for this Love.

The world, empty.

I have currently just spent the longest time alone I have had in a while.

Lonliness, emptyness, does the idea deem inviting or repelling.

As I write this I have just been looking around at pictures of abandonded building and I am watching a documentary called Uranium: Twisting the dragons tail. And in this documentary there is a section on Chernobyl.

Places like Chernobyl have always intrigued me, a reset world. The visible reclamation of nature. Its empty yet so full, full of thought and of potential. Being alone to me is inviting in many ways, to think to myself, to do what I want, to go at my own pace and achieve what I want to focus or unfocus.

I wonder about the life after this, surely I will spend time with others, but will I have the place to be alone in some forest, or other planet. Who knows.

I think the prospect of an abandoned world is intriguing to many, fiction has played off of it for years.

Is it the beauty of stillness? Is it the plants that inevitably claim the walls?

Or is it freedom?

Freedom from material, from stuff... from the schedules, from the hiding your feelings, from the choices that are, in the end, insignificant.

Peace, something that comes when less things get in the way of what we really want to be doing.

Now, when we carry around our guilt or our worries and fears. It stresses our life, it keeps us from peace and being able to enjoy the important things.

Now when one turns to God, God has provisioned to remove those things, and given us a process to follow.

Then when we abandon these things, leaving them to God, peace comes. we can look at our seemingly empty life and finally do what it was meant for, what is our life meant for?

many people dont even know what they would do without having overwhelming worry, guilt and fear.

But when you encounter God, then life changes.

Abandon Self.





(Kinda just half asleep wrote this, hope it makes sense)

Allah or Jesus

The book Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus is an amazing book.

Its a beautiful telling of the authors transition from a devout Muslim to his encounter with Christianity.

This book was a gift at the door while I was canvassing and I appreciate it so much. I learned so much from the book and it has helped me understand Islam much much better. I feel like impractically knew nothing about it after this book.

It impacted me to the point that I have an even stronger burden to share Love with Muslims more than ever.

I appreciate Islamic culture so much, and much of there devotion is inspiring. This guys story was such a blessing and now I feel like I understand a whole part of the world.

The book is very thorough, breaking down many aspect in not just social thought between east and west, but also why Christian theology is so close but yet so far from Islam.

I don't really want to spoil it, just get one or borrow it from me.

If you know any Muslims, you don't need to try correcting them, start as Christ would, by treating them like family and eventually the time to share the Gospel will come. 

Minimalism- A principle.

I just got done watching a TEDx talk about a guy who went minimalist. And I would suggest watching it.

https://youtu.be/GgBpyNsS-jU

But the entire time I was watching this video I could help but thinking about how Christ would share this minimalist principle.

Note the gentlemen in this video do not tie this with God's character and plan, though it would've been an excellent opportunity. They guy practically gave a testimony like a Christian would.

 I praise God that I am poor. That I don't feel attached to stuff like most people.

The Lord gives a longing to separate from the world, we, even non-believers can sense that this world has nothing to offer us any lasting satisfaction and fulfillment.

I see poor, impoverished, disease stricken people, offer me kind words and monetary donations on a daily basis while I do ministry. But those who have been given many houses, and possessions greedily hold on and do not offer hospitality to me as a stranger and wanderer. I say I would rather have the heart of the poor, than the possessions of the wealthy.

Minimalism is a principle of Christianity, and when violated, it causes the utmost disgust to the unbeliever. People know intuitively what constitutes a Christlike life, the law is written on our hearts, and by attaining wealth and lavishments we spurn the character of God and his selflessness.

Ill let the Holy Spirit say the rest:

16  And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life? ...
21 Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.
29 And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.
30 But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.



"The deepest poverty, with God’s blessing, is better than houses and lands, and any amount of earthly treasure, without it. God’s blessing places value on everything we possess; but if we have the whole world without his blessing we are indeed as poor as the beggar, for we can take nothing with us into the next world." - Signs 4/1/1875

Submission to the Spirit

The people of the kingdom of God are not all under one roof. They are not under a certain title, nor do they all look a certain way.

I met wonderful older lady at the door the other day, and she rejected me first off. She had asked me where I had come from or what organization I was with, and I of course told her I was Seventh-day Adventist.

At first she got me confused with other people that commonly go by the door, and she refereed to them as a "cult." Saying she didn't want to financially support something she questioned. At first, I was willing to let that go and continue walking but she said that what stood out to her was that the other people she had met wouldn't let her pray with them. Right away I knew who it was, and I knew she hadn't met Adventists.

I then asked if she would pray for me before I went, and she was delighted to. She prayed for me, very kindly, not trying to rebuke me, or pray that God would somehow bring me out of the cult she thought I might be in, no, she pray for my prosperity and my relationship with God. I was blessed.

A great conversation struck up after the prayer. We talked about bible topics and how she was helping run a Vacation Bible School. And eventually I mentioned the book "The Great Controversy", she then told me that she had been reading that book because it came in the mail, and soon enough after talking about the bible and spiritual things she started to be much more open. She said she actually wouldnt mind helping "me" but she had no money.

Then we talked more about things like the sanctuary, and how she was very interested in the Old Testament, and she told me how she has always been the odd one out because she thinks the Bible should be taken as it read, and not to be subject to human theories. I was praising God the whole conversation, I could tell she was close to the Lord Jesus.

To make a long story not so longish, she remembered she had some money for emergencies and she wanted to give it to me, and she asked what other books I had, since she had enjoyed the Great Controversy and she saw it was completely Bible based, and on a side note she said she enjoyed the theme so far that "God has always had a remnant" and I just smiled and agreed. 

She ended up getting Daniel chronicals because she loves history, and Theodicy so she can learn the Origin of Evil better to explain it.

 She gave me a donation, and then she said she would mind if me and a lady came and had fellowship with her and did some Bible study!

Before I left she said she must have been confused on SDAs and said that the Holy Spirit was working on her and she was softened as we talked. She said she had direct revealation from scripture but that God uses people like me to bring things to attention, and she said she was wondering if she should spend time reading the Great Controversy, and she said my visit was a conformation that she should continue to read it.

I praise God, the Lord has his people. Ill end this with a quote she mentioned during our conversation, she had just been presenting on Elijah for VBS that day.

1 Kings 19:18
"Yet I have left me seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which hath not kissed him."

Patience in Training

I was reading this morning about the Life of Joseph.

Again another example of God having one wait and learn in interesting, even difficult situations to prepare them for a special duty.

"Arriving in Egypt, Joseph was sold to Potiphar, captain of the king's guard, in whose service he remained for ten years. He was here exposed to temptations of no ordinary character... Yet Joseph preserved his simplicity and his fidelity to God."

"The youth was brought in contact with men of rank and learning, and he acquired a knowledge of science, of languages, and of affairs--an education needful to the future prime minister of Egypt."

There are many others I could cite as well whom God had placed in a position to fit them for one higher. And though not a lofty or celebrated position God kept them there for many years, specifically for Joseph, ten.

Now I myself feel very anxious at time to bring myself out of the training grounds God has placed me in. I feel as if I have been here long enough, its time to get out there. To leave schooling and ease and take on responsibility and labor.

I want to go start doing the Lords work in far off lands, like going to the middle east, or Africa or East Asia to start a work where no one else has. I want to get out on the front lines. But I have the impression that I still have time I must be trained, shown more things about who I am and I must realize more my need for God.

I don't know if you, reader, feel as anxious as I to do the work, to sacrifice ease and comfort for hardship and difficulty, But if you do, remember these stories. Joseph had no idea of the blessings God had for him, but he also had no idea of the hardships he must endure as well.

I am slowly learning to submit to God, even "good" desires. Timing is everything, and no person can truly time anything because we know not what the future holds. The plans of men are so pathetic because we are so subject to forces greater than ourselves. But when we take hold of Omnipotent power in Christ, what can we not do? What power does not submit to Christ?

I want that trust in God, confidence that that power is working for me. I think my biggest task will be to just not get in the way.

God will do as He has promised, my job now and forever is just to believe it and act accordingly.

Blessing.

Pray for the Church here in Zimbabwe.

Humility and Temptation

A struggle I have had for a time, and which I have no doubt others struggle with is connecting with God on a daily basis.

Before I came to this school I did not struggle with this. Not because I was so pious but quite the opposite. I had no consistent desire to commune with God. But praise God for Ouachita Hills for showing me the difference in my life that is contingent upon the amount of time I spend with God or devote to Him.

I have slowly but surely, with the Lords assistance been realizing how essential it is the put God first and not my own wants in the morning or at night.

So a quote that I have been keeping in my mind is found in child guidance. Its set to the aspect of parents to children but I see it so relevant to myself, and I'm sharing it because others struggle as well.

"If they are weak in virtue and purity of thoughts and acts, they can obtain help from the Friend of the helpless. Jesus is acquainted with all the weaknesses of human nature, and, if entreated, will give strength to overcome the most powerful temptations. All can obtain this strength if they seek for it in humility."—(Child Guidance, 466, 467.)

Its when I realize that I am in need, when my pride is not my motive for action that I will desire to come before God for the strength I must have to be faithful to Christ's example. So I often repeat these words to remind myself in the morning.

Another problem I have is self confidence or security amidst temptation. In the sense that I am not keeping awareness, that I will choose to not spend time in watchfulness and prayer because I feel as if I am above the reach of deception. My mind has literally changed over night and become lax to the point of being completely unaware to my compromises I am committing even at the early hours of the new day.

Thus I try to think of this quote.

"By beholding we become changed. Though formed in the image of his Maker, man can so educate his mind that sin which he once loathed will become pleasant to him. As he ceases to watch and pray, he ceases to guard the citadel, the heart, and engages in sin and crime. The mind is debased, and it is impossible to elevate it from corruption while it is being educated to enslave the moral and intellectual powers and bring them in subjection to grosser passions." Test 2 ,478

I am much more often deceived and fall into Satan's traps by small incremental comprises rather than large instances of rebellion. Being aware that any exposure to things that are unfavorable to the formation of Christ-like character are a risk, an eternal risk is essential to avoiding sinning.

All in all, when it comes down to it, giving into temptation, and separating your soul from God is a result of two things.

"He who refuses to connect with God, and puts himself in the way of temptation, will surely fall. " 4T 622.3

I pray God will keep things things in your mind and this will be an encouragement in your Daily fight for purity.

Blessings!

Covenant Love

So lately, well since I re-listened to Pastor Asshericks sermon on Christ and his covenant, I have been thinking in the mindset of how the covenant is integrated into Christianity.

And after dwelling on it, and looking at places in scripture where it is prevalent i have came to the conclusion that this subject is pretty awesome.

The covenant, or the bond that binds us and God together is a massive and integral part of God's working in history. It also is a model for marriage and vice versa, biblical marriage shows how God's covenant is with us. All in all it is woven into the fabric of scripture quite thoroughly.

There is a lot to say about this topic but let me just state one of my favorite parts. 

--------

Before anything but God existed, there was covenant. The relationship or covenant or standard or promises that held God, three in one, together in union was Love. A law of self-sacrifice, a standard of putting others first. 

If we could observe The Holy Spirit, The Father, and The Son existed before anything had yet been created, we could see the the Principles given us in scripture practiced and laid out plainly and purely in the words, and actions of each person of the Godhead. They would give each other the utmost attention and priority, yearn to give to the other instead of receive, and so on. Just let your imagination run and imagine, if possible the purest and most loving display of life. 

And in this union the enjoyed, but Love is a principle of other-centeredness. So what would God naturally want to do? Have more beings to lavish this affection and love on, so God created. 

Not to be loved, but to Love.

And its in this covenantal relationship of Love that God invites us to join in. True Love, with all your heart, cannot be forced, we are simply Loved by God and given the power of free will to choose to love Him in return, which He knows would be the highest of all attainments, that is to emulate the self-sacrificing principles that will ultimately bring true satisfaction. God knows this so He affords each person ample opportunity and strength to perform this Love.

---

Ill try to share more later, but this is all I had time to write right now, chew on it for a bit, it tastes pretty awesome.

Silence

In the past two weeks here at the school many people have observed me reading a book.

That book is Silence by Shusaku Endo.

As a Christian and as partly Japanese, the book caught my attention and it seemed to seem like an interesting read.

As I started the book I realized something though. This event or event similar to this actually were real and the book very much started to challenge my faith.

Honestly I don't want to expel all of what the book has to say, but I do promise that you will be uncomfortable.

It is not a light, simple read for the novelist. I strongly recommend this book for any Christian that has any desire to do missions work.

I really do want to convey the messages and lessons I learned while reading this book but what I learned was experiential and I can only say that you have to read it for yourself.

It turned my outlook totally around about the role of missionaries and the difficulties of life.

I had often thought and dwelt upon my own problems and difficulties with much focus and attention, even to the detraction of focus to other priorities, but this book really shows how one can grow closer to Christ and how the sufferings of Christ can truly comfort in the MOST trying circumstances.

---Please pick up this book if you want to grow, to be challenged or to just be humbled.

It has helped my see life and missions work more practically, and more realistically.

I once thought of missionary work today as difficult, having to leave home and go to the unknown, but a sense of security always bound me. I knew I would be able to rely on those many or few Christians that I would meet in the area I was going to.

If I went to a foreign country I could rely on the assistance of the Christians that had been there before me, or I could have some confidence in the good will of the common people to not do anything uncivilized.

But now I question, would I really choose to go be a true missionary if I didn't have these amenities and foundations already laid. What if I got to a country where anyone would jump on the chance to turn you in for a large reward? What if I got to this new mission field and there wasn't anyone there to greet me and introduce me to the culture? What if I knew everyone that went ahead of me has been captured tortured and killed? What if I knew there was going to be no return trip for me?

What if I went and the only thing I truly had was God?

I honestly don't know if I could make that sacrifice, if I could take that risk, if I could follow in the footsteps of God.

Righteous or right

I have had a theme of thought recently. It was phrase I heard in a sermon by David Asscherick and it has helped me contemplate myself and my actions and so forth for the past few days.

Its a hard lesson to learn, specifically for me, and anyone like me.

Those who are stubborn, know-it-alls.

The lesson is packaged in this little saying, "Its far better to be Righteous than Right."

For me, that is so so so hard to hear.

Because I feel more correct than other people most of the time and often I self-justify myself with my head knowledge by using it to cover for my lack of Christ-likeness. This know-it-all mentality also has also urged my pride often overboard.

Its as if, believing in, and knowing right, correct things somehow is what brings me into favor with God. When really it is God given obedience to the lessons enveloped in Christ's character and teachings.

In a way, I seem to have valued intelligence and wittiness over sacrifice and contriteness. 

For example, for a long time I never valued the humble and wise heart of my mother, and judged her life according to the amount of "truth" she followed. And frankly she doesn't know all the intricacies of bible prophecy, nor can she explain her beliefs things with fluency and biblical accuracy.

But my mother more than, has displayed those things Christ's has said are valuable. Like patience, or her trust in God to do things for her.

She very much lives by the self-sacrificing principles displayed in Christ's life, but rarely pushes or exclaims her knowledge. 

In the end, my mother may be wrong on some bible beliefs, but by her life I can see she is living the one belief that matters.

Romans 13:8  "Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law."

In the end I can have all these things, these beliefs, which are important, don't get me wrong, but they are not all important and are worthless if you don't have that one thing.

That is Love, not romantic love, or filial love but Divine Love.

I think I am right most of the time. But that really, doesn't matter, if there is not the RIGHTeuosness of Christ.

I praise God for these thoughts.

Its either you or me.

Then Pilate entered the Praetorium again, called Jesus.
Pilate: "Are You the King of the Jews?"  
Jesus: "Are you speaking for yourself about this, or did others tell you this concerning Me?" 
Pilate: "Am I a Jew? Your own nation and the chief priests have delivered You to me... What have You done?"
Jesus: "My kingdom is not of this world. If My kingdom were of this world, My servants would fight, so that I should not be delivered to the Jews; but now My kingdom is not from here." 
Pilate: "Are You a king then?" 
Jesus: "You say rightly that I am a king. For this cause I was born, and for this cause I have come into the world, that I should bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice." 
Pilate: "What is truth?" 
--------------- Fast Forw
Jews: "We have a law, and according to our law He ought to die, because He made Himself the Son of God." 

Therefore, when Pilate heard that saying, he was the more afraid, and went again into the Praetorium.

Pilate: "Where are You from?" 
Jesus: ... 
Pilate: "Are You not speaking to me? Do You not know that I have power to crucify You, and power to release You?"
Jesus: "You could have no power at all against Me unless it had been given you from above. Therefore the one who delivered Me to you has the greater sin." 
--------------- Fast forward
Now Pilate wrote a title and put it on the cross. And the writing was: 
JESUS OF NAZARETH, THE KING OF THE JEWS. 

Then many of the Jews read this title, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city; and it was written in Hebrew, Greek, and Latin. 

Chief Priests and Jews: "Do not write, 'The King of the Jews,' but, 'He said, "I am the King of the Jews." Pilate: "What I have written, I have written."

"Pilate said in his heart, He is a God... Pilate longed to deliver Jesus. But he saw that he could not do this, and yet retain his own position and honor. Rather than lose his worldly power, he chose to sacrifice an innocent life. "

"How many, to escape loss or suffering, in like manner sacrifice principle. "

"Conscience and duty point one way, and self-interest points another. "

Sourced-
John 18; 19
DA 738

I'm not sure if you, dear reader understood the point of this, but to me this lesson taught in the last moments of Christ's life hits home.

Reader, find it in your heart to remove your piety for a moment and realistically and honestly put yourself in the position of Pilate. 

We, in our comfy computer chair, and air conditioned buildings, two-thousand years later, may look back at this event in contempt for the weakness and failure in the actions of Pilate. But really, put yourself there.

Without your current knowledge of what the bible says, without your knowing what happens after Jesus is lead of to the crucifixion. Put yourself in place.

Could you have sacrificed your life for this man Pilate's you barely knew. I don't mean life as in die for him, I mean life as in live for Him. Could you even now, give up your job right on the spot this moment, forsake any type of leadership positions you have, and face contempt and reviling by all those who currently look up to you. 

Maybe its hard to imagine because all your surrounding and circumstances aren't important to you or something.

This all aside, my point is, are you confident you would really embrace loss and suffering, and flee your own self-interest, for another person?