Revival

I praise God, because the Holy Spirit works in us to conform to the image of God.

Last week was possibly the most difficult, depressing week Ive had. But counsel rings true, I was having a hard time starting dvotions, and i was not talking with God and spending time with him.

As a result, depression, self-relience, pain, frustration and discouragment settled.

I never want that feeling, that experience, to happen again.

God is always there to be found. He waits to share blessings and treasures with you as you begin to search for him again.

This past Sabbath was a blessing, among difficulty and depression from the week, Sabbath revived my heart towards Jesus.

I was reminded of the importance of the canvassing work, and to what purpose it serves in spreading the gospel.

Though a seperated myself from the Lord through my self sufficiency, I am happy as ever to be back and once again cast my cares upon him.

One care I had was imediately taken care of, and relief was brought to my heart. And yet another soon after.

Even after all the knowledge and experience with God and knowing how much he has done for me, I selfishly hoarded my time. But even after denying him, with full knowledge of what may come, He still greatly recieved me back to him with blessings waiting in the doorway as soon as I opened it.

God is good.

I beg you, if you ar reading this, and the Holy Spirit has put a burden on your heart to give more time to God, or just to focus on him more. Pray, seek, and God will recieve you and wash you, he did me, and my sins were great, many that would be repulsive to all. Purposely giving my heart into the hands of the Satan, yet when I turned to Jesus he shelterd me from the self inflicted storm.

Praise God.

This week will be a blessing, pray for me, pray for us who are laboring for souls.

Even a great destructive storm gives life giving rain to those looking to grow.

Blessings, keep burning for God.

Life, Now

So its about 2 AM in the morning. In 12 hours Ill be at an airport to go to Michigan, and In less time than that I will hopefully see my new born niece, because my sister is in labor right now... As I type.

The strange circumstances that stem from such events, like a new life be born, or my lack of sleep, or my excitement for the environmental change from my home to the canvassing work, have spurred this little thought blending post I'm currently typing.

These past two weeks have been exactly about what I hoped they wouldn't be.

On the outside, its been a grand ole time. I got to preach, a wonderful God given message this past Sabbath. I learned so much about God through watching sermons. Even did some climbing and exploring with a friend, had some mini adventures. 

On the inside, Its been a power struggle. The fear I had expressed about my going home has definitely rooted itself. I've faced and failed so much spiritual warfare these past weeks, and sunk so low. Even at the point of wanting to forsake everything God had for me, even now I feel as if my failures have somehow made me unworthy of all the blessing I see God wants to bestow upon me in the future. 

So many things plaguing me. The thoughts of unworthiness, the contemplations of turning my back, giving up. My biggest struggle revolves around my self worth. On one hand, I am prideful, I am confident in somethings, and beat myself up because I know I shouldn't be so proud. And on the other I see certain people, as so much better than me, and me like some sort of annoyance or disease on others, thinking to myself, certain people would be better having not ever known me. But again I know to that I am not that worthless Im worth something. at least I think I am... Right?

But I know were all this difficulty and insecurity comes from. I've been in spiritual darkness, which carries over to darken many other aspects of life.

I need more light.

And I praise GOD! because just like the crazed demon possessed men off the shores of Galilee, I too see the Savior. I will be saved from this pit of despair, and have been thankfully provided with away to share sufferings and true life with Jesus through sharing on Gospel during canvassing.

I cant wait to start. Canvassing is a life giving experience. I have been starving of life because I have not been giving life to others.

 Without giving, there is no love, and no love means, no life, and death will seem preferable to life.

So I hope, that if you reading this feel a deadness in yourself, start giving, and shine light in your darkness. 

Disclaimer: If that made any sense, praise the Lord. Like usual I am not rereading this post, so I hope its not confusing, cause Its late, and my head is throwing a bunch of stuff around.